In Searching

Is it boredom? Maybe lack of motivation and discipline? Or am I just addicted to the rush that starting affords? When the excitement and all that raging fire slows down to a steady flame that sustains the mundane, restlessness ensues.

• What’s next?
• That looks fun.
• I can do that too.
• What am I doing?

A jack of all trades is a master of none. But I don’t necessarily want to be a master. Do I lack passion for the things I do? Or is the passion in the doing of multiple things? Am I just making excuses and justifying my own inability to finish? What does the finish line even look like? Was there even one when I started?

Go back to your why, most say. I like the stretch. Venturing into the unknown. Knowing myself, learning things about myself, and meeting versions of me when immersed in different challenges. It’s the same way when I change the above statements from myself to others. But then what?

So I go beyond why. Deeper, I get into foundation and identity. There I find a drifter that desires to flow with the go. A spirit that wants to be lead by a power that is beyond his own. Life ticks by the second without pause. This drifter won’t settle.

Life has so much to offer to be locked in. The purpose is not in the doing. Living is the purpose. The search continues…